Do you need to possess who you truly love?

My fren just msg me to let me know that he is in pain … heart pain, the pain that we all feel when we are going thru when someone we love left us ... that empty terrible pain that seems to make us unable to breathe and make life seems pointless ... my Uni "Juliet" and I used to term it as a trip to hell which we went thru together once

after advising him a couple of time ... I was getting fed up ... partly because there a couple of guys who only contact me when their partner left them, making me feel very "used" (hey what happen when all fine and dandy ? got look for me or not?) & partly because my advice are not getting thru to him ... and partly, the OSCARs were on !

But still ... i think it's payback time cos I put my friends thru similar suffering before ... aka whining to my friends about the girl who left me ... how I should have treat her better and cry them a river to see ... hmmm lucky my friend who was/is very good to me, stuck with me and listen to me for months .... I really can't imagine what he and my other flatmate went thru because I was a whining baby for months and they were stuck with me for 24 7 ...

thinking back ... it's really sad and i am very ashamed of myself and promise never to do that to my friends again ... some of you might be thinking that I am currently doing it to them now, you are actually getting off better than my ex flatmates ... 24 7 leh .. can u imagine ?

anyway .. back to my this friend who reminded me of my past ... i think i killed his whining with a question that he himself found it hard to answer ...

"Do you need to possess who you truly love? "

I felt that it was a checkmate question ... There no right or wrong answer but it can indicate what you truly want ...

If the answer is yes ... then aren't you treating that person you love as an object to own?

If no is the answer ... then shouldn't you be happy just to know that he or she is doing fine and not force him or her back into a relationship ? (i almost type slavery instead of relationship) and wish him or her all the best ... even if the path that he or she had chosen is a path that you cannot accompany ?

in a way, it can help to answer why is that person so miserable about the ex leaving ... there could be a number of reason why you are hurting over your ex but the most important question here is do you truly love her

if you don’t ... then no point making everyone miserable ... if you do, then learn to be happy for her ...

and as much as I don't like Sting's If you Love Somebody Set Them Free song's tune, the lyrics in it make sense...