My Contribution to Great Orchard Road Flood 2010

spotted the Fail Whale shopping @ Orchard Rd ... it said:"finally a Great Sale I could go to .... it's a once in every 50 Years event for me"
Photo from TwitPic (@flubberzz)

my fave magic trick online

I'm going to do a magic trick... watch carefully

Rich + hard
Rich+hard
Richhard
Richard

.... ta da!

blowing out many birthday candles at once

Recently, I wrote a birthday greeting on a Perth friend (acquaintance )'s facebook page. The thing is that I also noticed from his fb photo pages, I kinda suspect (with affirmation from our mutual friends) that he is gay (a Christian tho)

My Birthday Greetings for him was

"The more candles, the bigger the wish.... Happy Birthday"

to which he replied

Acquaintance: "HAHA.. Thanx! Could i have 100 candles please!? "

I thought ... eeei how come so greedy one ... but played along and wrote

"hahaha now now ... Don't be too Greedy ahahaha"

and reminded him that

"remember you got to blow them out in one breathe for the wish to come true : )"

Acquaintance replied in a rather morbid fashion ...

Acquaintance:"hahaa.. true! dont think i can blow it in one breathe.. gonna kill me kah??"

to which, I was so tempted to say "NOT TODAY hahaha cos it's your Birthday today" but thought it was rather mean and not very nice to talk about death during one's birthday so I came up with a even more funnier and "pun" intended reply ...

I said ... :"haha just remember to blow real hard k!!! Jia YOu!"

and his expression was
=.=""

8 / 23 / 09 2.18pm

Blading Stunt Gone Wrong

Just found this old video while looking for old software in my backup cds... not sure who that guy but I had fun laughing at his attempt in doing something "special" while Blading

Jail Bait HOO AH AH!!

Was having dinner with Stefan at PS Carl JR when I saw this girl, all dressed up and she is kinda "busty" (we suspect it's with the help of Push up) and her figure is pretty curvy at the bottom too

So I dutifully notify Stefan for the eye candy treatment and when she left our vicinity, Stefan commented that "must be wary cos she might turn out to be a Jail Bait"

as in she look quite underage and if after screwing, she could just turn on you and it's jail time ... therefore Jail Bait ...

after hearing that ... I started chanting Jail Bait HOO HA HA!!
(of cos inspired by Finding Nemo)

then when we left Carl Jr after I went to refill my Lemon Tea for the 1001 times, we were still talking abt Jail Bait HOO HA HA!! and Stefan mention that it's not worth doing times for a young thing like her ... and he said

"There a ripe time to pop cherry"

haha and I went and said ya! "that's a right time to pop cherry"

and our debate when on about pop ripe cherry and not pop rite cherry haha

our debate transcript as follow ... still cracks me up haha
District 9 (Y) says(12:16 AM):
CHERRY
RITE time to pop
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
yeah
District 9 (Y) says (12:16 AM):
hahaha
LOL
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
RIPE
District 9 (Y) says (12:16 AM):
ya
RITE
haha
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
pop ripe cherry
not rite cherry
District 9 (Y) says (12:16 AM):
right time
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
RIPE
District 9 (Y) says (12:16 AM):
RIGHT
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
RIPE = ready for the eating
District 9 (Y) says (12:16 AM):
.......
i know la
- Stefan - says (12:16 AM):
yep
- Stefan - says (12:17 AM):
that what i said ma
District 9 (Y) says (12:17 AM):
its right becos its ripe ma
haha
- Stefan - says (12:17 AM):
ripe, not right
District 9 (Y) says (12:17 AM):
LOL
argh
RIGHT
blog it later
haha
- Stefan - says (12:17 AM):
there's no pun in RIGHT
District 9 (Y) says (12:17 AM):
there is !
u jsut cant see it !!
later
- Stefan - says (12:17 AM):
right cherry not the same as ripe cherry
District 9 (Y) says (12:17 AM):
there a right time to pop the ripe cherry
brb
- Stefan - says (12:18 AM):
right is the wrong!
lol
18 year old cherry hor
anything less, prepare to be someone's bitch in jail!
fuck man, we should compile all these crappy sayings
can become dialogue in future
for films LOL

Jail Bait HOO HA HA!!

Overheard: Kid said the darnest thing

Happened to hang around 2 young girls (couldn't be more than 5 years old) and the things that this little girl said was pretty shocking and amusing ...

Little Girl #1 = LG1
Little Girl #2 = LG2
My RadioHead = MRH (aka My Thoughts)

and here the bits that I happened to "walk into"

LG1: "and tonight we shall dine in hell"

LG2 and MRH: "HUH???"

MRH: "Isn't that from 300??"

LG1 to LG2: "that's from the movie 300... the guy said: "tonight we shall dine in hell""

LG2: "oh what does that mean?"

LG1: "that means they are going to eat monsters!"

MRH > -_-"

LG1: "and they are going to drink BLOOD"

MRH > *_*" (my eyes opened big big and I turn around to look at them and ...)

LG1: "then they become ten hundred!!!"

MRH: "Girl ... that's a thousand then"

Kinda shocking ... how come little girls like them would get to watch a movie like 300??? shouldn't they be watching Pixar or Old Disney movies (not the High School Musical tho cos they are just as bad as 300 ... for robbing their innocent)

the Relationship Bet

Last Year, I had a bet with Mx Webmaster that by the time of his wedding, that all 4 "regulars" single columnists would still remain single ... by today, there about half a year left and I analyze my observation of the current status of the four participants .... offering him a chance to surrender now and lost half of the bet.

He used Gambling in a Casino analogy to describe my Observation and I thought it was quite spot on description on my observation.

#1 spread his bet all across the table. Betting on both Big and Small at the same time ... Whatever he wins, he will also lose ... he stands a high chance than the rest as he does frequently places his bet.

#2 avoid the Casino like a plague. Always seek solace in a Cinema. Unlikely to win at all unless the banker comes looking for him in the dark theatre.

#3 spend too much money on his gadgets. Might have no more money to go betting ... therefore reducing his chance in winning.

#4 is too cheapo to bet ... spend too much time in trying to get into the gambling section via FOC method.... not likely able to charm lady luck.

the above analogy and Observation should be taken in a candid manner ... it lacks substantial data and could only serve as a one person opinion. hope it will not offend anyone (or the participants) while reading it ...

*update ... this post had been approved and therefore see the lights of the day once again

What Makes a Good Friday?

One of my acquaintance asked on facebook .... I believe it was for the weekend Fridays and what constitute a Friday that was productive ... one of his friend answered it would be with a hot date

My answer is "Jesus Nailed to a Cross"

: ) kinda amused myself with that reply ... but think about it ... it make sense! Jesus kanna nailed to a cross and we celebrate that with a holiday! and definitely Puns intended when I replied

Love Tsunami

"Richard Lim Jr is hopping that love will come like a tsunami … unexpectedly and flooding / sweeping him over with potentially deadly consequences."

Er just in case there are friends who are worried when I make such morbid remarks …. the comment above ^ was made when I was chatting with a poly friend (Joel Tan, the best President of TP CSC) just now.

He asked if I am dating anyone right now and I told him that I am not... currently happily being single ... He went on and said something about love will come unexpectedly like a tsunami ... (in retrospect, I think he was trying to console me )

my First reaction was: "WAHHHH ... so deadly"

hahahaha LOL ... was so amused that I posted that on my twitter / facebook...

Safety in Numbers

After finishing watching a Late Night Gala Movie with my friend, we waited at a Orchard Road Traffic Light Junction. It was still red for the pedestrians but there's no cars coming from either side of the road and majority of the pedestrians from our side started to jay walk.

My friend turned to me and say: "Let's go"

I stopped him and said:"but it's still Red"

He replied: "Don't worry, there's Safety in numbers ... so many people crossing now, it will be quite safe"

I looked at him and answered: "Well in that case, I am sure that the bowling pins felt quite safe too when facing a bowling ball rolling towards them "

hehehe

abt that cream that I sell

I hope my friend will not be offended with this post ... I had a big laugh over her innocent "but slightly slanted" comment

It all got started with
Yesterday at 8:52pm Wxxxxe commented on her Facebook account that
Wxxxxe Wxxg will strive to be happier than before. Cos she deserve it.

then my other fren commented
Samantha Yeh at 10:22pm March 25 via Facebook Mobile
Yeah, happy is always better than angry. At least lesser wrinkles :p

then i added
Richard Lim Jr at 11:43pm March 25
if got wrinkles ... come look for me ... i got wrinkles cream : )

after a long while ... Winnie replied
Wxxxxe Wxxg at 8:21pm March 26
to richard: i din know u have a new sideline!!! Got license or not...or did u diy at home?

her comments got me laughing out loud ... becos

Richard Lim Jr at 8:50pm March 26
self note to Richard > Stop having notti thoughts about home made DIY Facial Cream ...

hahahahaha LOL .... her "innocent" reply was seen in a twisted and perverted angle by yours truly

* Updated - Name Censored to protect the Identify of the Innocent Person from Unnecessary Teasing and Publicity.

And just in case you got no idea what Homemade DIY Facial Cream that I am thinking of ... here is a picture attached to illustrate my "joke"

... yes it can get rather raunchy from this point on so divert your eyes or stop scrolling down anymore ... you been warned

(Picture from Yuma Asami and her studio S1)

Andrew could have been Ansell

was checking if my newly added Ram is working properly on my CPU (18 Jan 09) and found out that I named my PC as Ansell ... which means God's Protection. There's a joke about the name Ansell and it could have been Andrew's name (and since his birthday is around the corner ... I will save this post as a draft and to be published on his birthday ... yup it's today)

Back when he was in his mommy's pouch and I was in Australia, a list of possible names were chosen for him ... among the front runners, there was this name call Ansell ... look n sound unique which nowadays parents are going for ... (sidejoke, my teacher fren told me that one of his boy was named Enoch ... which is so sad)

I was thrilled and amused that was going to be my nephew's name cos ... that's the brand of a Condom in Aussie Land : ) YUP Ansell !!! God's protection for U n MEEEE hahaha

I was slightly disappointed that the name was dropped in the end

what sticky balls you have there?

out of the blue, my friend msg me that his balls feel sticky. That was right after we went to bath together (at the same time ... not same location).

Amused, I told him that mine is clean and not sticky cos I bath and clean properly.

then I asked if he wash properly .. which he said he did.

Since he was properly bathed and unlikely to have done any strenuous exercise inbetween bath n the sticky ball msg (unless he is withholding information from me!)

I asked him : "maybe your sperm leaking out ... go check your balls again for leakage!"

" ) sometime I amused myself in ways I could never expect.

Victim wished to be remained anonymous but readers could ask me if you know him or not ... I would gladly tell you personally behind his back ... so we can laugh behind his back ... hahaha "oh what sticky balls you have there"

overheard today

that my new niece might turn out to be a nephew instead ... cos doctor detect something growing in between the legs... nooo it's not a tail and it's too early to start shitting

and while traveling in a bus, I was thinking ... " ohhhh COW BOY, Not Cow Girl .... haha " that what I am going to write on his birthday card ... and maybe draw one Cowboy Picture for him ...

sigh ... no de niece ... only de nephew

Andrew Berak Me

Berak means Shit in Malay

Was going to hospital to see my Dad and was stopped by Andrew at the door steps. He wanted to go out with me and normally I don't bring this little bugger along as I have difficulties in controlling him. But I thought SGH is close by and his Grandfolks would be delighted to see him, I gave him the ok after clearance from his Mom.

so off we go ... to a good start. He was very obedient and buckle up when requested. Had some meaningless chat about cars (this 4 years old knowledge on cars had exceeded mine) and other Kungfu stuff. In short, an enjoyable short ride.

Reached SGH carpark and waited for an empty lot. Saw one far behind and reversed back quickly to chop the lot before any cars come by. While reversing, Andrew who is leaning on the seat with his Bum up, gave me the Shrek's Puss in Boots look and said

"Da Jiu, I Berak"

I jam break and the first two words that went thru my mind was "NO BERAK", then it was "are you shitting me ???" (Puns weren't intended but it fitted very well to the situation)

I wasn't equipped nor prepare to deal with this and was freaking out on how to get this little shitter to his Grandma for clean up ops. and to think he was such a good boy till now ! Holy Shit?

Then I told him .. "Don't Move, Keep your Bum up from the Seats and don't touch the dashboard" "Let me finish reverse parking my car first"

After which, I looked at him and asked how come he never go before leaving my house. I was worried that he might have wanted to rush out to go on a car ride with me that he kept his incoming shit a secret from me. Then I asked him how bad was it and he gave me that "bo bian" (what to do / helpless ) look. I felt bad for him and suddenly he crack a smile !

I suspect something wasn't right and I kept asking him whether did he really Berak in his pants. This chronic young talented liar kept saying he did. it was until I told him that I won't be mad at him if he didn't then he broke into laughter !

I can't believe I been shited on fooled by a 4 years old !!!

this pen is not company one

We need to transfer money overseas and usually my Dad is the one doing the transfer ... the first step would be to fill up a form and there are plenty of stuff to fill up ... address, amount and bank account numbers

When we were about to head to the bank, I realized that the amount was incorrectly filled and had to change ... seeing my dad just wrote the first one, I told him I will rewrite the next one as there are quite a lot to fill up ...

then when I tired to take the pen he just used to fill the first form, he took it away and said "this pen is not company one"

I stared at him blankly and couldn't believe he just did that to me .. I turned and look at my Mom who was busy texting ... I tried to bring what had happen to her attention and her reply was "as least he told you nicely"

I drew a even bigger blank ... When she finally knew what had transpired ... she was laughing with me at my Dad stinginess

later he explained that a lot of his own personal pen got lost when the company borrowed it ... so no more lending ... I just can't believe the line must draw until like that

I was Caught Cheating

well I missed one of my scheduled run on the 19th Oct due to rain and wanting to season my new shoes a bit before covering 7.5km. felt rather guilty about it but when I read this new balance advertisement

I knew all is forgiven : )

does it look like it's making face at you?

Now I know why they can find pictures of Mary on Glass Panel or walls ... I found a rather unhappy pancake starring back at me ... just before I ate it

Approaching Zero!

Yahoo News posted this. An artist did zero dollar bill to protest about the breakdown of American Economy.

My only problem with this is that it's the wrong president on the bill.

brace yourself

distributing eggs

Mom suddenly got this idea of making Tea Eggs and to our horror (my Dad and I), she wanted to make 20 of them!

My Dad asked her how are we going to finish all 20 of them and her plan was to give some to our neighbours and some to our estate manager.

I was slightly amused at that and asked her

"issit becos you got no chance to give red colour eggs, so you are giving out all these black ones??"