Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funnies. Show all posts
Monday, June 15, 2015
Friday, May 22, 2015
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The real reason the rapture didn't happen ...
OOOOOOOOHHH YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
(Found this on FB...Damn Funny)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, June 07, 2010
Hubby's Severe Stress Disorder
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
The doctor continued, “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?”
To which his wife responded, “He said you’re going to die.”
The doctor continued, “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.”
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?”
To which his wife responded, “He said you’re going to die.”
Thursday, April 30, 2009
When ...
Answering the Nature's Call might not be a wise thing to do
Laughter Might not be the Best Medicine
Doraemon decided to screw with Nobita Nobi's life insteadFriday, April 17, 2009
Funny Stuff from Dvdtalk's Chess Pix Topic
Loved visiting Dvdtalk sites everynow n then to catch up on Hollywood movies news and getting cracked up with their comments & Jokes ... this time round, they had a Pix topic about Chess and some of the pix really crack me up or got me hooked
The first pix was this one
Kinda remind you not to challenge your competitor unless you are sure that you got the biggest ad space around ... hahaha
This second one ... really hook me ... I just cant keep my eyes off it
The last one made me LOL ... really Laugh out Loud !!
Yeah ... from the same place where I found the almost same type of joke.
Check out for more updates Here
The first pix was this one
Kinda remind you not to challenge your competitor unless you are sure that you got the biggest ad space around ... hahaha
This second one ... really hook me ... I just cant keep my eyes off it
The last one made me LOL ... really Laugh out Loud !!
Yeah ... from the same place where I found the almost same type of joke.
Check out for more updates Here
Monday, February 16, 2009
Jokes that crack me up today
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want to be a pilot.
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Deepa: I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Deepa.
______________________________
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying
of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"
______________________________
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
__________________
A little gal just had her first period in her life, she was very afraid so she went to ask her friend little Johnny wat she did wrong that cause bleeding from below:
Little Johnny was very surprised and ask her to lift up her skirt to have a look, after doing that he replied:
"OH MY GOD, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CUT YOUR BALLS OFF"
__________________
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini - "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and says, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he exclaimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough... and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK... but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started saying, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them.
Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my god, oh my god'?"
While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?"
__________________
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone
__________________
Ram: I want to be a pilot.
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Deepa: I want to be a good mother.
Ravi : I want to help Deepa.
______________________________
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying
of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"
______________________________
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
__________________
A little gal just had her first period in her life, she was very afraid so she went to ask her friend little Johnny wat she did wrong that cause bleeding from below:
Little Johnny was very surprised and ask her to lift up her skirt to have a look, after doing that he replied:
"OH MY GOD, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE CUT YOUR BALLS OFF"
__________________
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini - "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and says, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts," he exclaimed.
She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough... and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK... but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel... then he started saying, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them.
Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying, 'Oh my god, oh my god'?"
While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD, where am I ever going to get five hundred dollars?"
__________________
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone
__________________
Monday, January 19, 2009
Shit check List
And that same Dear Fren also forwarded this check list to me .. which I thought is quite useful and had already printed out a copy to be paste inside the toilet ...
also I know another fren of mine might need this list too ...
also I know another fren of mine might need this list too ...
What goes through your mind when someone says "Let's go for a drink"?
A dear Fren forwarded these couple Beer Ads that demonstrate the different chain of thoughts that both a female and a male go thru when someone says "Let's go for a drink"?
Actually I kinda figured out what is it about ... which is to make fun of the lengthy process of the female brain ... but something occur beyond my Fren's intention which I thought was pretty funny and help to strengthen the differences between Female and Male ... I will explain after the third Ad
Feel Free to Take your time to go thru them properly by clicking on the picture
I was wondering how come there are so many ads about other stuff and it never got straight to sex when it comes to "lets go for a drink" .... then i realize ... this email was forwarded by a female
figures : ) hehehe
Actually I kinda figured out what is it about ... which is to make fun of the lengthy process of the female brain ... but something occur beyond my Fren's intention which I thought was pretty funny and help to strengthen the differences between Female and Male ... I will explain after the third Ad
Feel Free to Take your time to go thru them properly by clicking on the picture
I was wondering how come there are so many ads about other stuff and it never got straight to sex when it comes to "lets go for a drink" .... then i realize ... this email was forwarded by a female
figures : ) hehehe
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Friday, October 10, 2008
Approaching Zero!
Yahoo News posted this. An artist did zero dollar bill to protest about the breakdown of American Economy.
My only problem with this is that it's the wrong president on the bill.
brace yourself
My only problem with this is that it's the wrong president on the bill.
brace yourself
Monday, August 25, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
the hunter and the bear
a close friend accursed me of being a jerk ass to her and that inspired me to tell her this joke that i read a long time ago
once upon a time
there is this hunter who went to the Forest to hunt
then a bear surprise him out of no where
the bear ripped his clothes off
pin the hunter down to the floor
and rape him
then left him and when on its way
the hunter was rescued back to the town
nursed back to health
the hunter swear that he will have his revenge
so
he brought more weapons n trap
to kill the bear that rapped him
he went back to the Forest
and manged to find the bear
ambush it
n kill it
he was so happy
that he didn't realize there another bear behind him
this new bear pin him down
rape him and left him half dead
some towns ppl was passing by
saw him and rescue him
this time
it took him months to recover
once he is well
he swear he must revenge himself
and he brought even more weapons n traps
he set up in the Forest and waited for the bear that rape him
as he waited n waited
a bear appear behind him
and whisper to him
admit it ... you are not really out here to hunt
: ) get it ??? don't be shy if you didn't
once upon a time
there is this hunter who went to the Forest to hunt
then a bear surprise him out of no where
the bear ripped his clothes off
pin the hunter down to the floor
and rape him
then left him and when on its way
the hunter was rescued back to the town
nursed back to health
the hunter swear that he will have his revenge
so
he brought more weapons n trap
to kill the bear that rapped him
he went back to the Forest
and manged to find the bear
ambush it
n kill it
he was so happy
that he didn't realize there another bear behind him
this new bear pin him down
rape him and left him half dead
some towns ppl was passing by
saw him and rescue him
this time
it took him months to recover
once he is well
he swear he must revenge himself
and he brought even more weapons n traps
he set up in the Forest and waited for the bear that rape him
as he waited n waited
a bear appear behind him
and whisper to him
admit it ... you are not really out here to hunt
: ) get it ??? don't be shy if you didn't
Monday, August 11, 2008
Minds are like Parachutes ...
Been a fan of de-motivation calenders for the longest time and today, I received their new de-motivating quote .... this one crack me up
Visit Despair, Inc for more alternative motivation calender
Visit Despair, Inc for more alternative motivation calender
Monday, July 21, 2008
One Liners & Q&A
Found something funny that crack me up ... but hey you can laugh at them too
One Liners & Q&A
- A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.
- If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
- TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
- INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
and something to cheers the Ladies up ...
WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
ANS: (because they are plugged into a genius)
WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
ANS:(they don't stop to ask directions)
of cos U must be smart enough to scroll over to read
Saturday, May 31, 2008
I found my friends
While checking for NBA highlights ... I came across the youtube channel for Happy Tree Friends !!!
All together now .. la la la la la la
All together now .. la la la la la la
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